Everything’s Gonna Be Alright

Wow!  Not only was the conference NOT a total snooze fest, it was beneficial for me to be there!  I ended up splitting from the husband for most of the day and going to seminars that I found interesting (there was actually one that I found enormously informantive because, as of this week, I’m going to start doing some work for one of his collegues.  It’s a branch of her profession I’ve done in the past successfully, but she knows NOTHING about.  She pulled me in as a consultant, and to help her build up that part of her business.  Amazingly, this happened BEFORE he found out his company was going under.  I’m really excited!)

During one of the hours, I looked at the schedule and realized there was NOTHING on it that I found interesting.  NOTHING.  I kind of poked around and wound up in a classroom with other people who hadn’t found anything interesting, either.  They went around the room saying who they were, what they did, what they needed help with and what they could help other people with.  When it came to me, I realized that I had plenty to say.  On the two hour drive back to the confrence we had a huge conversation, and it looks like the husband is leaning in the direction of being self-employed again.  We super nervous about this, but we also realize that, being in New York City (as opposed to the suburbs where we were) is a HUGE advantage.  Also, as a professioal courtesy, his former employeer will give him, for free and/or at a reduced rate, the equipment he used while on the job.  It’s equipment that he hand selected himself (and he took advantage of the fact that it was being paid for and got the best-of-the-best), so moving it here will mean he has his “dream studio” right in our apartment.

Thank goodness we got a two-bedroom!

Ok, so anyway, he’s going to be self-employeed and even though we’re starting off with a HUGE advantage, we’ll still need help.  So I share all this in our “un-session” to the dozen or so other people in the room, and, when I drop my husband’s name (we don’t have the same last name), everyone starts falling all over themselves to give me their cards, saying they love him, they’ve seen his work, they’d love to help.  One woman was a virtual assistant and said she would help with the business side of it, which is good… neither of us are super business minded (understatement).

I think we will be ok.

Princess

My husband is one of those husbands that dotes and fawns and generally treats me like a princess.  (I, in turn, love him to pieces for it.)  We’re really close, not only as husband and wife, but as friends, or even just PEOPLE.  He’s my favorite person on earth by FAR, and I’m over the moon that I get to spend my life with him.  It’s the first time I’ve been in a healthy, close relationship with someone that I love, and there are times when I don’t know how to act properly and mess it up.  He is always so understanding, though, and he never yells or raises his voice; this concept of interacting is completely foreign to me.

Anyway, occasionally one of our friends (almost invariably single, might I add) makes a snide remark about how he caterers to me, and after last weekend which was full of such comments, I had to think long and hard about whether or not I was taking advantage of him.  I concluded that I don’t; everything he does he does willingly, and it’s obvious that he’s always gets a kick out of making me smile.  But the comments had started to get to me.

I might have gone too far into the “princessing” tonight, though, even for me.  This is what happened.

He’s away at a conference right now that’s two hours away (he took the bus).  He left last night, and today I kind of… melted.  I’m in a new house and it’s hot, everything is still a moving mess of boxes, I couldn’t find the cord for my iPhone so it died, his phone wasn’t picking up and he wasn’t getting the internet text messages I was sending him.  I had people calling me about insurance and mortgages, I couldn’t find this one important paper that I need and… I collapsed in a ball of tears by four this afternoon.  I want him HOME!

Of course, I know that he’s at this conference giving lectures and networking with people who will help further his career, which is important now more than ever because his job is in danger as of this week (the paper he’s working for is probably going to close).  I have no doubt we’ll pull through alright conference or not, but I do know, too, that it is still extremely important he be there.  So I would never ask him to come home and abandon it.

He suggested that himself, though!  Out of the blue!  I’ve been going over our conversation a hundred times trying to figure out if I “guilted” him into coming home, and I’m sure I didn’t.  He’s jumping on a train tonight, and we’ll both drive back tomorrow, together, for the last day of the conference.  He promises I’ll have fun and meet interesting people, although I’m guessing it will be a total snooze-fest.  Who cares, though.  We’ll be together!

“Are you sure you want to travel all the way back?” I asked.

“I…” he said, and then he paused and laughed a little, embarrassed.  “I just… I miss you so much!”

I can’t believe I get to keep him forever.